Thursday, June 9, 2011

There are two certainties in life...Death and...

I have been thinking about parental mortality lately.  I have a father who is in a somewhat fragile state of health at the comparatively young age of 64.  This is weird for me because he is a doctor.  Someone who is meant to be a fixer of illness not a sufferer.  It is also weird because he is my father. 

I have a kind of weird relationship with my parents for various reasons (to remain undisclosed).  Suffice it to say, we are not overly demonstrative in our affection for each other either verbally or physically. I gather this is not normal by watching my husband and his parents, and other friends of mine with theirs.  It is something I regret.  

I regret that I feel unable to verbally express my love for them.  I regret even more that they feel unable to verbally express their love for me.  Their love for me is expressed in the things they do for me and in the sacrifices they made for my education.  These are admirable.  But there is nothing quite like hearing "I love you" from a parent.  And I cannot remember the last time I heard that from mine.  I realise that different people express and receive love in different ways, but I'm not sure my parents understand this.  

This comes to a head for me as I contemplate my father's mortality.  He will not live forever.  Not only will he not live forever but he cannot live forever as he does not know Jesus.  That is very hard for me.  The mere fact that he is still alive is testament to God's grace.  

This is a man who has been 'brought back' by CPR twice.  The chances of it happening once are about 5%.  I don't want to know the stats for twice.  Even less do I want to know the stats for three times. 

But it is clear to me that it is only by the grace of God that my father still lives today.  And yet.  And yet he still rejects God

My question to you today dear readers is this: How do you share Jesus with a man who is a walking miracle and doesn't acknowledge miracles?