Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A time to speak?

I am torn.  I have a friend.  Yes I know.  I have a friend.  How did that happen?  Anyway.  I have a friend (let's call her Sophie) who has a problem.  Sophie confided in me that she is struggling with the attitudes of a good Christian friend of hers.  

He is older than her, and has been a Christian for many many years longer than she.  He is from a Christian family who love him very much.   He has the "Christian pedigree" (went to Sunday school, a Christian school, Youth group, Bible College).  But Sophie has been increasingly worried about some of his attitudes and his actions (mostly online).  

Sophie's friend is not afraid to express divisive opinions (about things upon which Christians often disagree) loudly in the company of non-believers and people who love to hear that the church cannot get it's act together.  He is not afraid to drink rather more than he should (again in the company of non-believers), and is rather less than discreet about some of his attitudes to women (joining inappropriate Facebook groups etc).  He is also not afraid to go one holiday alone with his girlfriend.

Sophie's husband has spoken to him many times in love, raising these and other issues.  But there is a problem there too.  Sophie's husband was brought to Christ by this friend and has not been a believer as long.  Her husband is younger than her friend, and takes a more conservative line on many things.  Sophie is afraid that the voice of her husband is being lost in the loud secular voices of the media and unbelieving friends. She worries that his influence is being lessened because he is telling his friend things he doesn't want to hear about things in his life that need to change, and behaviour that is blatantly ungodly, behaviour which belies his Christian professions of faith.

Sophie asked me what she should do.  Should she keep praying for her friend and the words of her husband and hold her piece about her growing frustration?  Should she raise issues with her friend directly and risk damaging the friendship of both her and her husband?  or should she put the health of his soul above the feelings of her heart and say it anyway?

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