I have decided that I am going to start the mammoth task of packing up the house. It is probably a good idea to start now since packing with an almost toddler will probably take longer. I often wonder how people with multiple (and sometimes many multiple) children do it. How do you cope with more than one child? more than one routine? more than one set of nappies (if they are close together in age)...
I have a strange family. We have very large age-gaps between siblings. Ten years between my sister and me, and then 6 years between me and my next sister. Then there was an aberration; an anomaly to the pattern: my brother arrives after a mere 13 months. I remember many years of being an only child. Then suddenly I had two siblings in quick succession.
My question is: what is a fair age-gap between children? I know many people who have 2 years and under between children, but not many who have 3 years or more. Is there really such a huge advantage to being stressed out of your brain for a few years to have kids close together? Do the benefits really outweigh the costs? the years of sleeplessness, nappies, toddlers, breastfeeding, the HSCs, driving lessons etc???
I think I would hate having kids so close together...until I remember how close my siblings are. They have the same friends and go to the same parties quite often. They shared a room until they were 15 and 14.
Even now they share a language I cannot penetrate through the generation gap. And it is a generation. I am married with a baby, and they are still at uni. Were Fiona still with us, she would be almost 40. She may be married. She would most likely not have kids (due to chemo and radiotherapy as a child), but she would have her own generational markers and language.
I suppose looking at my own sibling age-gaps, and knowing that Luke is an only child, I keep coming back to the question of what works? I know that a 13 month age gap nearly killed mum. I also know that I never really quite got over the arrival of my sister (less so my brother), and that most of my childhood was spent relating to adults or older cousins, making it harder for me to relate to kids my own age. Bede won't have quite that problem since he will be at Sunday School from a very young age with kids his own age all the time.
But what would you do? would you have yours close together? or have a larger gap? and if you already have your kids, would you do it the same way again? or would you have them closer together/further apart and why??
I have 3 babies under 4 and would have it no other way. After having our first son we couldn't wait to have another. Number 2 arrived when number one was only 14 months old. The transition from one baby to 2 was so unexpectedly easy for us we even travelled around Europe & The UK for 2 months when they were only 24 and 10 months old. Our plan was to have a third exactly the same distance apart, to keep them all together, but unfortunately, Number 3 was lost at about 18 weeks. This was very difficult for me to accept, having previously had 2 normal pregnancies. The fact that there was no explanation for me made it even harder. Nevertheless, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and my 4th pregnancy was closely monitored and resulted in a beautiful, plump, healthy baby. If it weren't for doctors advice to the contrary, I would have another, and another and another! In a heartbeat! Yes, my life is chaos. Yes, my house is almost always a mess. Yes, I often collapse in a heap of a night, but always with a smile. I love the chaos. And the mess. And the noise. (And there is Oh so much noise!!) I find it as easy to look after 3 as I did for 1. I often watch my 2 eldest, who are as thick as thieves, at play and wonder, What would they do without each other? What if we only had one? There is a 22 gap between #2 & #3 but she is still dragged along (often unceremoniously) by the others and included in their games. I cannot wait to watch them grow together. I couldn't imagine having them any further apart. And wish with all my heart that I could add another to their 'gang'.
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